The well equipped lavatory of the 1960s came equipped with wee pastel-colored guest soaps that no one ever dared to use, embroidered fingertip towels that were equally off limits, and perhaps, if it was an enchanted bathroom, a knit or crocheted toilet tissue topper doll. My family’s toilet tissue doll was never in the bathroom. It was always in the glass-fronted top of the Governor Winthrop desk in my bedroom. She continues to reside in the same spot in my daughter’s room. Yes, it’s true, our toilet tissue topper doll and the roll inside her are a family heirloom.
It is my belief that the world would be a better place if more people had toilet paper dolls of their own. Imagine the glee and cackling when I stumbled upon the directions to knit one in Coats & Clarks Book No. 158, Jiffy Knits, from 1965. Now, you too can have your own toilet paper doll. What a time to be alive!
This girl whips up pretty fast. She’s on size 10 needles and made with knitting worsted yarn. Coats & Clark “Red Heart” Knitting Worsted is discontinued, as is so often the case with vintage patterns. It may have been wool when this pattern was written, but it makes much more sense to use an acrylic. This yarn was usually knit on size 8 needles, smaller than the ones called for in the directions. There is also no gauge info.
Although we are dyed-in-the-wool true believers in true vintage and know there are vintage skeins of Red Heart Knitting Worsted out there, those are best left for people who are trying to restore or finish a vintage project. Use something new. Per Ravelry.com, the Red Heart is a 4 or medium weight yarn. Your local knitting shop will be glad to help you make a substitution.
One thing you are going to have to source from vintage sellers is the 7″ doll that goes inside the toilet tissue tube wearing the dress. For reference, Barbie is 11.5″. The girl you need is smaller. The excellent news is that a true vintage 7″ doll might have sleepy eyes that open and close.
I know some of you are thinking: “Couldn’t I cut the legs off a Barbie?” I don’t know. Can you? I could never cut off a Barbie’s legs without horrible emotional scarring, but you do you. Also, note that Barbie has more boobage than a vintage 7″ doll, so you might have to expand the bib to cover her completely. Do a test fitting before you de-leg her to make sure her hips fit inside a toilet paper tube.
Good luck with your project! If you do knit your own toilet tissue doll, for heavens sake post it on Instagram and tag the heck out of us. We want to admire your workmanship.
